A couple of nights ago I watched a woman, who so negatively impacted my childhood, on a town meeting important to my Mother, and it sent me into an internal battle.
This woman was my elementary school principal. She should have done right by me and should have had a moral oath to put a child first, but instead she spent years neglecting my parents concerns and requests for a core evaluation.
Somehow I made it through elementary school (with a lot of emotional baggage) and my parents did the best thing they could have ever done for me. They pulled me from the school district and sent me to a private school they trusted and with their guidance, my parents finally got my core evaluation.
Surprise! Dyslexia with a side of A.D.D. Back then the H was different and if you know me, there really is no H about me, but A.D.D. , that fits perfectly. Wouldn’t you know it, that when it came time for IEP planning she magically reappeared taking a strong interest in “putting the child first”. Hold on, give me a second while I choke on that…
I know how funny that diagnosis may sound considering I read and write excessively now but I’ll fill you in on how that happened. Once my parents received that diagnosis they spent thousands upon thousands of dollars on a special school for kids with learning differences. I refuse to call it a disability. There is nothing disabling about it or me, I just learn differently. They gave me the tools to do this.
Fun Fact: due to their tools I am actually a meticulous proofreader. It’s slightly annoying and distracting… A.D.D. remember?
Anyways, as I was watching this women pretend to be someone I know she’s not, and receive praise for how “amazing” she is (if they only knew), I texted my mother and told her I was having an internal struggle between appreciating the challenges because they made me who I am today or sending her a picture of me flipping off my computer while watching it. For the record, the reason I was watching this meeting had nothing to do with her, she is just unfortunately the head of the school committee which my mom had warned me about prior.
Instead of doing either, I picked a different path. Instead I have chosen to hope that her conscience keeps me in there as one of her biggest regrets. If only she could see me now.
… and with that, a whole bunch of baggage just left my shoulders…