Yesterday was Mental Health Awareness Day (it’s actually the whole week too, oops!), and you would think with how transparent I am with mine that I would post something. Truth is, I couldn’t.
I have known for a while now things were getting close to my limit. Then yesterday I was in an elevator and legitimately thought to myself that it may not be too bad to get stuck here. Yes, I am knocking on wood as I write this because we all know full well I could get stuck in an elevator one day, with a full bladder. That’s just how things go around here. However, positive thoughts about being trapped in an elevator alone is not normal. Truthfully, I would most likely take a nap because I am just so tired.
Since September life has been one thing after another. On a daily basis I juggle a teenage daughter transitioning to High School that struggles with mental health issues, an eleven year old who has not been transitioning to Middle School as well as we thought, a 4 ½ year old that is locked in a power struggle with his siblings (and the dog), an Epileptic husband whose activity level has been increased with the recent weather changes, finding out an avalanche of hard truths from many lies I had been told (some more significant than others and to be clear, not from my husband), and all the while I am managing my own anxiety, depression and PTSD diagnoses.
Normally I have a lot of patience. I teach toddlers, so think about spending your days in a room full of two year olds. I have now spent 7 years of my life doing it, so that should give you an idea of my patience *cough ‘tolerance’ cough* level… but yesterday that patience just about ran out.
Truth is, THAT IS OKAY!! It is okay to have days like that. Those days are reminders to take a step back and take care of yourself. There is zero shame in being just about ready to lose your shit. You can do all the therapy, medication and self taught tricks you know and these kind of days will still happen. I’ve been battling my anxiety and depression since I was a teenager and I am not naive to think that they won’t. I know not many people could go through the things I have gone through and make it out as well as I have on the other side, and at the end of the day that is my superpower. I 100% own it.
It’s time to change the stigma behind mental health. Why do we always have to talk and think about it in a negative way? Does it make me a bad mother? Nope. A bad wife? Nope. A bad friend? Nope. A bad teacher? Nope. My blogging and crafting probably benefits from it but there is no changing who we are, so why not start embracing it?
Bottom line… know your limits, seek the help you need and be damn proud of yourself because every single day you battle something most could not.
P.s. I still stand firm I’d take a nap…