An Open Letter To My Living Deceased Relative,


Let me make this VERY clear. You walked away. That was your decision. You chose to cut off your family. You blocked us on social media (except 2 of mine, so you can’t really play dumb), you had your partner send back Christmas Cards with vile messages to never contact you again, and when you do decide to email someone, it’s still about you. 

Do you even know how many great nieces and nephews you now have? Probably not. Do you know how many days are spent wondering if you are alive? Also, not likely. And the biggest, do you know that there may be a genetic link to what you have and that at least one of your nieces or nephews are being monitored for similar illnesses? Ya, that’s definitely a no, and no, we won’t be naming who. You made it very clear that this has only been about you. I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised that when you found out I did something for the family, that you walked away from, that you again made it about you and how you were insulted.

So let me fill you in on some things you have missed in the 10 years since you walked away. I have been trying to be involved in my Grandfather’s memory at that school since my daughter was 6 months old and we attended an event at the school with my Mother. I am a teacher in that town. Children I have taught received awards last night. I am involved in that town. I even live in a town next to it. I worked to be involved in my Grandfather’s memory. I did not just sit around forgetting about it, while no one even knows if you’re alive, but still, you are insulted. I was there for Frank, as a member of his family, that you left. 

So, since you feel that you are entitled to some credit, I have some for you:

You were involved in every aspect of our lives. You were a fixture in every single event my siblings and I went to. You were a staple in our lives when our Dad traveled for work. You were there for all our milestones up until 10 years ago. For Christ’s sake, they kicked you out of the labor and delivery room when I was having my first son. You engrained yourself in our lives and our memories, until ten years ago, when YOU walked away.

For ten years I have tried with you. Over, and over, and over again. My Husband has sat with me countless times as I’ve cried over you. Hell, I even wrote a book about living with a living deceased relative and healing from the pain you have caused. Yes, I wrote a whole book, except for the ending because it wasn’t over for me, until now.

I have cried my last tear and this will be the last time I allow myself to feel any emotion because of you. I hope you got what you wanted. 


Postscript- You may have noticed, from my posts that you read, that I can write fairly well for someone with learning differences. I’ve been told, I get it from my Grandfather…


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